I was walking to the coffeeshop earlier with Bandit and we walked by this house with a huge sign out front decorated really nicely with colorful balloons tied to it that said “JEN’S 8th BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!” and I thought, “aw, how cute” until I reached the back of the house and saw a slightly askew, run down wooden playset with swings and slides and one little girl with a party hat on sitting on the swing by herself just sort of kicking the dirt and looking down at the ground, and two adults who I assume were her parents sitting under the canopy of the back porch just talking, and my fucking heart broke.
"Hey, you’re Jen, right??" I asked, fully aware that I was basically that creepy strange dude on the street. She looked up with a crooked smile and said yes and asked me how I knew, and I told her my dog, Bandit, saw her sign and told me I had to come see because it was the prettiest sign he’d ever seen, and then she just giggled. I told her that 8 was my favorite number (it is), and that 8 is a really cool age and lots of neat stuff happens when you’re 8. She just smiled and then started swinging and I wished her happy birthday and said goodbye and walked away before I could cry.
I dreamt earlier that Lina came to visit (she actually is coming to visit in like less than 4 days!) but it was time for her to go back home and it was really sad and I woke up sad and then I saw that little girl at her own birthday party with no friends and now I’m just gonna remain sad for a while.